Young Ensign Kim
by Phantom Trekkie
Summary: Voyager is back in the Alpha Quadrant, and everyone is moving on with their life. However, Ensign Harry Kim spent nearly a third of his life on Voyager, and doesn't adjust to being home very well.
1. Chapter 1

**Dislcaimer- I do not own Star Trek, or any of its characters. That right belongs strictly to Gene Roddenberry (lucky guy!). **

**Author's Note- I'm not so great when it comes to writing Harry, so this story is giving me a little practice. I'm still trying to…expand, my writing style, so hang in there.**

_Young Ensign Kim- that's what I've been called for 7 years now. Now we're home after 7 years of being lost in the Delta Quadrant, and everyone has their plan. Everyone has someone to go home to, some lover to return to after being gone. Some of us have new lovers to return to the Delta Quadrant with- Chakotay and Seven, Tom and B'Elanna, and even the Captain has new interests with Vice Admiral Possate._

I strode down the halls of Voyager for one last time. I have so many memories of this ship- it has become my home. Now that Voyager was back to where we call home- the Alpha Quadrant- everyone is preparing to go their separate ways. Janeway was staying at Starfleet Headquarters, Chakotay had been given a command position, and all of the passengers were going back home to their families and friends. Everyone had their plan- all except me.

I walked into the mess hall. How many hours have I spent in there, working all night, talking to the Delaney sisters, or relaxing with Tom and B'Elanna? I walked into the kitchen. Starfleet had given Voyager a good cleaning, and made every repair possible. I reached into the cabinet where Neelix usually kept his snacks for the crew. It was empty. The whole kitchen was empty. Even Neelix's pots and pans were gone.

After the mess hall, I made my way to my old quarters. I had cleaned them out last week. They seemed so empty. Once again, Starfleet had out done itself- my quarters were cleaned to perfection. My room was rearranged. I looked on the floor, in the bathroom, and under the bed to make sure I had gotten everything. It was then that I noticed a holo image of the senior staff sitting on the desk. I picked it up to examine it.

I remember the day we took that holo image of the staff. The Doctor was the one who convinced all of us to have it taken. He told as that we would want something to remember each other by when we returned to the Alpha Quadrant. Seven refused to let her hair down, no matter how much Chakotay begged. Tuvok insisted we all stand in a logical formation. Tom wanted the crew to look relaxed. B'Elanna wanted to stand by Tom, but Seven thought it most efficient if she stood with every other crew member that had a gold uniform. After half an hour of fussing around, the Captain told everyone to stand still and shut up. The picture came out great, and even Seven admitted that she looked perfect.

Tom and B'Elanna offered me to come with them. Tom said I would like the real Paris. I politely declined, but I might change my mind if my luck doesn't change.

I grabbed the holo image, and made my way to my last stop- the Bridge. It was exactly 20:00 when I stepped out of the turbo lift- the same time my evening shift started.

The Bridge was still the same Bridge it had been for 7 years. Starfleet hadn't cleaned it yet, and everything was exactly as it had been in the Delta Quadrant.

"I told Starfleet to leave my Bridge alone, that I'd tell them when it was alright for them to clean it."

I turned around to see Captain- I mean, Vice Admiral- Janeway step out of her ready room.

"You want to know something strange, Ensign? I came all the way from the Delta Quadrant, just waiting for a cup of fresh coffee. Imagine my shock when I discovered that I had come to grow on my old replicator's coffee!"

I smiled, and looked at the floor. I knew this was going to be my last goodbye to the Captain, even though I would probably see her again at Headquarters.

It's hard to explain. Even though I might see the Captain again, it won't be the same. She won't be Captain Janeway. She'll be Vice Admiral Janeway. She won't be the Captain whose crew is stranded in the Delta Quadrant. She'll be the Vice Admiral whose crew made it home safely, and separated to fulfill all of the things they said they would do if they ever got home.

"Vice Admiral, I just want to say-" I started, but Janeway cut me off.

"Ensign, have you realized that I call you Ensign, even though you are promoted to Lieutenant? Don't you ever let me hear you call me Vice Admiral. You can just stick to Captain. Besides, Captain has a better ring to it, don't you think?"

Once again, I smiled. The Captain had a way of making me smile, even in the most depressing situations.

"Captain, I'm leaving for my parent's house as soon as I'm finished with my goodbyes. I just wanted to let you know that-" I could feel the tears coming, but I held them back. I was still in uniform, anyways. "I just wanted to let you know that you have been the greatest Captain an Ensign could ask for, and that it was an honor being stranded with you for 7 years." After I had finished my short speech, I just stood there. I could tell the Captain was getting ready to respond. I gave her all the time she needed.

"Ensign," she started, "You have been a great joy to me in these past 7 years. Even though we joked with you about being young, it was your youth that pulled us through. I don't know what I'm going to do once my crew is gone." Tears started to flow from her eyes. I couldn't help but cry myself. "Ensign, you can change rank, hair style, or location, but I forbid you to change your heart. That's an order." With that final statement, Captain Janeway walked away into the turbo lift, and I was left all alone on the Bridge.


	2. Chapter 2

After saying goodbye to my post, I exited Voyager and went to meet the senior staff (excluding the Captain) at a local coffee shop by the river.

When I arrived, I noticed I was the last person to show up. Typical. Everyone had a seat already, but thankfully, Tuvok had saved one for me.

"Good evening, Lieutenant Kim. I hope your day has been efficient." Seven greeted me. Her social skills had become excellent ever since she and Chakotay got together. Harry felt a slight twinge of jealousy of the Commander- he had a great command post, his past crimes had been forgotten, and he had a gorgeous ex-Borg girlfriend who was going to be able to stay with him even while he was on missions.

"Good evening guys." I said as I took my seat and ordered some coffee.

"Soo… How goes it, Harry?" Tom asked inquisitively. He always was the one to ask about my day. He didn't want a 'good evening' like Seven did- he wanted the full details.

"It's been great! I mean, I said goodbye to the Captain earlier, walked around Voyager for a little while, and then came here."

"It's good to see that you are adjusting. I know it's been hard for all of us." Chakotay said.

The waitress arrived with my coffee. He took a sip. I didn't understand how Captain Janeway could prefer replicated coffee rather than this great stuff.

"The view is indeed beautiful from our table. You made a good choice picking out the spot, Lieutenant Torres." Tuvok commented.

"Why, thank you, Tuvok! I'm not much for San Fran myself, but this coffee shop used to be my favorite while I was at the Acadamy." B'Elanna responded.

Just as everyone was starting to relax and tell personal experiences from their trip through the Delta Quadrant, Miral started to become impatient. B'Elanna tried to calm her down, but Miral- having one quarter Klingon blood- was insisting she have attention.

"I better take her somewhere a little more quiet. Maybe a walk by the river will do her some good." B'Elanna said after struggling with the child for 15 minutes.

"I will accompany you." Seven stated.

"Great. I could use the company. We'll let the men here have some good ol' men talk. We'll see you guys in about an hour."

B'Elanna carried the baby while Seven grabbed it's blanket, toys, and carrier. After they were gone, the men ordered another round of coffee.

"Harry, you look like something's wrong. Tell us about it." Chakotay said.

I played around with his coffee, twirling the sugar in with a spoon, making intricate designs.

"Well… it just seems like all you guys have everything planned out. All of you are going to live the perfect life now that we are back in the Alpha Quadrant, and I'm still 'young Ensign Kim', the poor fellow who has no plans."

"I disagree. Starfleet promoted you to Lieutenant. You are no longer an Ensign, and seven birthdays have passed since you cam onboard Voyager. I'd hardly call you young. You have a great life here, Lieutenant." The Doctor said with his usual matter-of-fact manner.

"Doc, think about what you're saying! You have a great job here on earth. People look to you for advice about holographic rights. You're appreciated! I have nothing here. Everyone was offered some special position- everyone but me. I don't even have a post, let alone anything special. You all had important family/lovers to return to. My fiancé went off and got married to the guy next door. Now, tell me once more that I have a great life here." I responded. I realized then that I had gotten so mad that I had stood up. I returned to my seat, and tried to cool off.

"Lieutenant Kim, might I remind you that you have your parents to go home to? You have a great relationship with them. You have great skills as well. I am certain that you will be able to find a suitable job." Tuvok said, trying to sound comforting.

I had to think for a minute before responding to Tuvok. Yelling at the Doctor was one thing- I could always shut down his program, or steal his mobile emitter. Yelling at Tuvok would be something else- he could seriously harm someone as out of shape as I am.

"Tuvok, you're saying this as a guy who is from a race where family is top priority. You're saying this as a guy who is retiring with honor from Starfleet! I don't think you're in the position to tell me I have family and the skills to get a good job. You don't know what it's like having to live with my mother. She's awful! She is always nagging me about being clean. She feeds me all of the time, and invites my friends over to eat without asking me permission! Not to mention I'd be the only Starfleet Officer ever to still live with his mother at my age."

Tuvok nodded his head as though he understood. I knew he didn't, but I was thankful that he refused to carry the argument on longer.

"Harry, it sounds to me like you're just experiencing some welcome home jitters. Why don't you come with me and B'Elanna to Paris. Four weeks of just laying around, touring ancient opera houses, and playing pool in the REAL Sandrine's. Life couldn't be better!" Tom said.

"I agree with Tom. Go with him and B'Elanna. Take a little time to just relax, and enjoy being back on Earth- the place we desperately tried to get back to for seven years. You don't honestly think you can throw away something you worked so hard for?" Chakotay added.

I knew I was losing this fight. I had no back- up. The Doctor chimed in, saying he agreed with Tom and Chakotay. Even Tuvok said he thought Paris would be a good place to meditate.

"I can see that I'm losing here. Alright, I'll go to Paris with you, but I'm not babysitting your kid while you and B'Elanna tour the Opera."


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a busy transport. B'Elanna was stressed from taking care of Miral, who had gotten sick 10 minutes into the flight. Tom had tried to help, but it was crowded and hot, and B'Elanna told him he was making things more difficult. I almost offered to hold Miral, but after she puked on B'Elanna and Tom, I decided against the idea.

We were all quite happy when we finally arrived in Paris. The fresh air was refreshing, and the atmosphere was very different than that of San Francisco's. Although every native to Earth could speak English these days, most cultures still spoke their native languages. It was interesting to hear the people at the station talk to one another in French. To me, English was over rated- most species in the Federation knew it.

Our hotel was just minutes away from the transport station, so we walked there, hauling our bags with us. The weather in France was cool; much unlike San Francisco. There was a slight breeze, carrying with it the scent of bread, cheese, and wine. I wondered if all of France smelled this good, or if it was just Paris. As we walked, I could feel the heavy burden on my shoulders lift, and I sighed with relief.

"Harry?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, Tom?"

"I was just wondering why you sighed. Are you alright?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Great, actually!" I replied eagerly. Apparently, I responded with a little too much enthusiasm, for Tom looked at B'Elanna, who nodded her head and smiled. Tom smiled back, and held his arms out to hold Miral for a while.

Then the burden was back.

Watching them –B'Elanna, Tom, and Miral- together as a family, caring for each other, helping each other out when they need it most, made me remember that I _had_ no real family. Oh, sure. My mom. My dad. I was happy that my parents were still alive, but I wanted something more. I wanted a family of my own. A part of me felt guilty for coveting what Tom had; another part of me didn't care if coveting something you didn't have was a sin or not.

We reached our hotel, and checked in. From the looks of the lobby, the place was huge. The clerks were very helpful –they even carried our luggage up for us. They gave us three room keys; one for Tom, one for B'Elanna, and one for myself. The clerks left us, and we opened the door to the suite.

It was more than I expected.

It had two bedrooms, a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen. Each room connected to its own bathroom. We had a marvelous view of the Eiffel Tower, along with streets filled with markets and shops. It looked like something from a post card; and I felt like royalty. I'd been to many places, and I'd seen many sites, but nothing could compare to Paris.

"Harry, if you don't mind, B'Elanna and I need to larger room because of Miral. Is that alright?" Tom asked as he set his and B'Elanna suitcases on the floor.

"Sure," I said. "I only need a place to sleep and use the bathroom. Besides, I don't have a wife…or a kid." I mumbled. Tom must have caught on to my mood, for he smiled apologetically at me, and then went with B'Elanna to their room, leaving me alone.

Alone. That was the last thing I wanted to be.

I picked up my suitcase, and made my way to my room. It wasn't that small at all; it was larger than the room I had at my parent's house in Korea. To my left was an antique-looking dresser with eight drawers. To my right, a full length mirror was hanging on the wall. Directly ahead of me was a queen sized bed, complete with a white down comforter, four pillows, and two night stands that looked similar to the dresser on each side. At the foot of the bed was a chest. Curious, I set my luggage down and lifted the lid; it was empty.

I could hear B'Elanna laughing, but I couldn't hear what she was laughing at; Miral was silent, and I could only hear faint noises that must have belonged to Tom. B'Elanna giggled again.

"Tom, not with Harry next door!"

_Oh._ That explained everything.

I put my clothes away in the dresser; I only filled three of the eight drawers available. Maybe I would find some more clothes in the next month. I set my bathroom up, and then freshened up. The familiar steps that usually comforted me now just made me irritated; brush my teeth, do my hair, wash my face. It was repetitive-and I used to like that. Now it was just like everything else in life.

I heard someone knock on my door, so I quickly rinsed my mouth out and ran to greet whoever it was; of course, it was Tom.

"Hey, Harry, are you ready?"

I touched my hair gently; it felt presentable enough to return to the public with. "Yeah, sure. Where are we going?"

"Sandrine's!"


End file.
